Kim Kardashian and Kanye West finally merged their special K’s in holy matrimony this weekend in Italy. Why Italy? Because Kim knows that important things are italicized for emphasis.
Here are 5 dumb things about the event that will keep you conversational without seeming obsessed.
1. Beyoncé and Jay Z did not attend.
In lieu of actually going to the ceremony, Beyoncé posted a fresh faced selfie of her new vacation braids the day of the wedding followed by another post of Kim and Kanye from their Vogue cover shoot with the caption: “Wishing you a lifetime of unconditional love. God bless your beautiful family.”
Is it shady to skip a wedding simply because it conflicts with your annual vacation plans? Maybe not. It probably also doesn’t mean anything that Beyoncé posted a near perfect, no makeup selfie before posting a picture from the Vogue feature where Kim says she doesn’t even recognize herself without makeup. It’s called a coincidence. No it isn’t.
2. Jaden Smith was invited for some reason.
Naturally, 15 year old power Thetan Jaden Smith was among the invited guests and decided to attend as White Batman… or Black Arthur from The Tick? Don’t know. Don’t Care. Will and Jada were obviously nowhere to be found.
3. Kanye humble bragged.
He said that Kim was “way more beautiful than [he was] talented.” He also referred to the Kardashian clan as an “industry” and called Kim and himself “warriors.” Surprisingly, there were no interruptions from Taylor Swift.
4. Ray J vowed to gift the happy couple a $47K check.
A sweet and classy gesture totaling the sum of profits from January to April 2014 of the former couple’s infamous sex tape. Vivid Entetainment told TMZ that the tape has grossed more than $50 million and is still raking it in after 7 years.
5. For once,The New York Post reported something appropriately.
— Jonno Turner (@jonnot) May 26, 2014